I want to create this, now.  I’m slowly on my way to forming a collection of books of such mass. I know that I will never read-probably won’t even open- many of the books I plan to buy-but to have and be surrounded by such pages filled with knowledge for rainy days is the cure-all for my need for constant knowledge. 

Tonight was a night of living my life. In my bedroom. alone.

I spent a good amount of hours in my bedroom assessing the space.  I was able to organize and think and feel what it’s like to slow down and surround myself with things that are mine.  This whole concept sounds like I should stop thinking, but in a deeper thinking, I realized I am truly blessed with what I have. 

To be happy and to find the way to enlightenment you really have to want what you have-and take what you have and work with it.  I am not an easily content little woman-my mind is continually assessing what I should be doing-what has failed me-how my past has upset me-and such other things this mind comes up with to fog my present being. 

I really was able to take tonight and make this space me-and enjoy it.  I have always been a confident person, I have always like what I am about, but to sit and rummage over things that I have collected over the years really shows me-who I am-and what I value. 

I found many pictures-many short sayings-old birthday cards-old clothes.  These lost-and-founds being all material things is a large insight into how you build your inner self. 

I am happy, very happy.  I have a bright future and strong past all paving the road I will claim. 

Bla. Bla. Bla. \//////\ Why my head has to think like this at midnight-is cause I drank coffee past 10am. oh man oh man oh man.